Criticism at it finest…💁🏾‍♀️

*Self condemnation…is not the key to success…read how… I’m working through it! 👊🏾

I am my worst critic…

I’m the first to say…I can’t. I’m done…and I’m tired. I said these things so much that it’s been a song playing in my head. A song of not being able to measure up to the success I think I should see or become.

Recently, I’ve been really digging in deep to those feelings of inadequacy. Picking apart why I say those things to myself. Why do I treat myself with so much angst? Why am I not moving from this spot? 

It was then, in my seeking and praying, was where I found my answer. I was rejected. I was rendered unsuccessful and dead in the womb. And when I found out that my whole life was a fight. I began to get a different confidence. Knowing whose I am, and who I am through Christ has brought me to a place of peace. Peace in knowing that God has my back…and has had it before I acknowledged Him. 

This revelation sent me into a reclusion, only seeking God and gaining strength through the relationship I have with the Lord, and receiving peace. And practically cutting folks out…just to hear what the spirit is saying to me.

Desperately seeking God to find what to do next with this info. After finding this info out the Lord began to download every moment He saved me from. And I began to weep and praise God for His hand upon my life. 

In my life…I’ve been through so much pain, heartache, rejection, disappointment, abandonment, and feeling unloved. I believe I am finally at a spot in my life where knowing the power and the purpose for my life means more than anything. Being obedient and listening is my portion.

I don’t care what you think about me. And for me to say this publicly is really huge. Because since high school I cared what people thought to where it plagued me.  

For years, I struggled wanting to be validated. By friends, family and even other boys. I chased them down until…I realized my validation did not come from people. It comes from God. 

This revelation has blessed life. It has changed my life. All because I decided to say yes to what was in my hands. 

Here is what I know…

I know that I am called. Called to be a light. Called to help the folks the Lord has placed in my life. To bring folks back to their first love. 

What does that look like…I have no idea. But I’m here Lord. Your servant is listening.

The Bible says in revelation 12:11 and we overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and they loved not their lives unto death. 

There is No thing that can stand in the way of what God wants for me in this season. I decree and declare it. And all tongues that rise up in judgement shall be condemned in the name of Jesus!!

I got my strength back.  I have my belief back. I feel amazing, I am loved and I am worthy of the next step of my life! 

This is me.